An email to Tony Martin

Tony Martin is not an easy man to contact. Word is he has no mobile phone, doesn't use an answering machine and only when he has reason to front the media to promote his latest hilarious book does he become slightly easier to reach.

I managed to track down an email address I was assured was Mr Martin's -- even though the name on it was Les SurnamebeginningwithN. I sent the email below to the address on March 4 and am yet to receive a reply.

Perhaps Mr Martin thinks I'm a potential stalker. Perhaps he doesn't want to confirm that he is Les SurnamebeginningwithN. Perhaps he thinks I'm a wanker.

Perhaps all of the above.